One Tough Act to Follow......

This post has been a few months in the making, which explains my lack of posting lately. I've got quite a bit to say, so this one is lengthy, but bear with me, as it does have a point.

Sometimes one of the hardest things you have to do is listen to your own advice. I found myself in situations over the past few months that I never imagined happening to me. However, I've learned a lesson from each one and it has made me that much stronger. Each "life event" that follows seems to get harder and harder to climb and takes that much more energy to get through. I'm sure every person has, at one point or another, been through just a shitstorm that only seems to get worse by the day. During this "storm", you continue on trying to make it through; and just when you think you've gotten through the ABSOLUTE worst part of it, a rogue wave blindsides you.

If you would ask me at 20 or 21, while I was in college, how I pictured my life to be going at age 25, I guarantee my life story up to this point would be narrated completely differently than how it is currently. In a nutshell, here's how the past 3 months or so have been going. Colorado cut unemployment benefits early. I lost my apartment and had to put stuff into storage. I barely have any food, or even gas to get to my jobs. I have applied to over 300+ jobs in the area and all over colorado. I am in the process of finding a new home for my Python, whom I'm very attached to at the moment. My 6 month old laptop decided to stop working so that's being fixed. I almost lost my Naval career before it even began due to a small legal situation. My finances and credit are a joke at this point. My car desperately needs things fixed but I can't do anything about it. I can go on and on and on. The magnitude of stuff that has happened can't really be felt via text, but I said all of that to say this. There were days when I would sit there and wonder why my life seems to be going the way its going and why it seems like I'm the only person going through this kind of stuff. The past 3 months have been the hardest so far out of anything, but I'm still here.

It would've been INCREDIBLY easy for me to look at all of that and basically sink into this enormous depressive state and mope around. But i didn't do that....it takes so much energy to feel bad and be sad and what do you get out of it? Nothing. You don't feel any better, you're basically sargeant buzzkill to everyone else around you and it just makes you jealous (*ahem* see my last post on haters/star player) of everyone else around you who either don't understand or have everything going for them. The truth of the matter is, you never know what anyone is going through at the moment or what their struggle is either. It's easy to be like "well you have no idea what its like because I've" *insert long sob story here*. You can either go around crying about your problems or be proactive and do something about them and try to help others around you as well. Someone could be going through the exact same thing you are and they may be watching your every move and you might not ever know. They're watching you because they see how you handle your situations, which may or may not be similar. If you take each problem thrown at you, and you tackle it head on with the right attitude, that can be very uplifting and motivating for someone else. On the other hand if you go around feeling bad and complaining, all you're doing is reaping negative attitudes and pity parties around you.

I had to learn this lesson. I was tired of feeling defeated and so I've been doing whatever I can to keep myself going and motivated and trying to be a living testimony for others who might need encouragement in their own situations. In light of the stuff that has happened, I have realized that next to God and my family, my friends are of the utmost importance to me. Yes, I knew that before, but you never really know who your TRUE friends are until you need them. And I can say that I'm proud to have the friends that I have because, a good bit of my struggle has been overcome just because of them. They know who they are as well. The other thing that keeps me going is something my friend Brownie told me one day. He said, "You know, I'd be more worried about you, if what you're going through wasn't just a speedbump..." What he meant by that was that on August 25th, 2009 at 12:13 pm, I got a call from my recruiter that I was Professionally Recommended to become an Officer Candidate for Pilot, Naval Flight Offiicer, or Surface Warfare Officer. I applied to all 3 and got accepted by all 3 and now all I'm waiting on is my Final Selection, which will also give me my Officer Candidate School report date for my class. Even though waiting sucks and sucks hard, I know that I'm destined for bigger and better things and God has me in a holding pattern until he sees that I'm ready to start the next phase of my life. I know that everything, EVERYTHING, that I've experienced and seen and felt since this runaway train took off in January 2009 is going to prepare me for the next challenge in my life. It will probably be way harder, but looking back on this gives me the strength to know that I am well equipped and capable of overcoming it. And by the way....that next challenge will probaby be OCS in Newport, RI. But as I said, knowing that my life is getting ready to change, keeps me from being complacent and also keeps me going that much harder everyday to make my situation better.

Final point: Shit happens. It does. Over and over and over....and then when you think you're in nice, open, clear, caribbean waters, you find that its still the sesspool of crap that you were in before. But you're in deeper. Awesome. Everyone will go through something or has been through something where it felt like nothing is going right and it continued that way. Your attitude and the decisions you make after it hits the fan, is where you really find out how much fortitude you have and how mature you are to handle what's going on. Those decisions and your attitude will dictate whether you'll be ready for the next challenge that comes or if you are destined to circle the drain until you decide to change direction and fight against it. You're in control of your lives....even when you feel everything has been taken away and there is no possible way to continue, keep fighting. Hold on to your dreams or goals, because sometimes, that will be the one thing keeping you sane. My favorite quote and something I read everyday when I wake up is this:
"Between you and every goal that you wish to achieve, is a series of obstacles. The bigger the gaol, the bigger and more daunting the obstacles. Your decision to be, have, and do something out of the ordinary entails facing difficulties and challenges out of the ordinary as well. Sometimes your greatest asset is simply your ability to stay with it longer than anyone else."

So I'll ask this question and I feel every person should keep this in the back of their mind.
Do you let your situation(s) dictate your attitude?
Or do you let your attitude dictate your situation?

Until next time.
Darkness